Speech In The 90's

Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.

The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Chips and Salsa
Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."

Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. The oposite of DINK (Double Income, No Kids) - It's what the yuppies of the 80's turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. Prime example: the O.J. trials on CNN.

Percussive Maintenance
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Chainsaw Consultant
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.

Cube Farm
An office filled with cubicles.

Mouse Potato
The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Prairie Dogging
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

Swiped Out
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."

Xerox Subsidy
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Going Postal
Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.

Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."

Flight Risk
Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.

Squirt the Bird
To transmit a signal to a satellite.

Starter Marriage
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Idea Hamsters
People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

A Get Out Of Debt job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.

Vulcan Nerve Pinch
The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.

Yuppie Food Stamps
The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We all owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."

Updated at 15:47 EST on Tue Apr 11, 2006