Speech In The 90's
- Blamestorming
- Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
- Seagull Manager
- A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits
over everything and then leaves.
- Assmosis
- The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
- Chips and Salsa
-
Chips
= hardware,
salsa
= software.
"Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips
or your salsa."
- SITCOM
- Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
The oposite of
DINK (Double Income, No Kids)
- It's what the yuppies of the 80's turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home
with the kids.
- Irritainment
- Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but
you find yourself unable to stop watching them. Prime example: the O.J.
trials on CNN.
- Percussive Maintenance
- The fine art of whacking the crap out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
- Chainsaw Consultant
- An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee
headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
- Treeware
- Hacker slang for documentation or other printed material.
- Cube Farm
- An office filled with cubicles.
- Mouse Potato
- The online, wired generation's answer to the
couch potato.
- Prairie Dogging
- When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.
- Swiped Out
- An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
- Tourists
- People who take training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were
just tourists."
- Xerox Subsidy
- Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's
workplace.
- Going Postal
- Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it.
Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who
have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.
- Alpha Geek
- The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
office or work group.
"Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
- Flight Risk
- Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to
leave a company or department soon.
- Squirt the Bird
- To transmit a signal to a satellite.
- Starter Marriage
- A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with
no kids, no property and no regrets.
- Stress Puppy
- A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.
- Idea Hamsters
- People who always seem to have their idea generators
running.
- GOOD Job
- A
Get Out Of Debt
job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that
they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
- Uninstalled
- Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice
president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of
an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the
operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.
- Vulcan Nerve Pinch
- The taxing hand position required to reach all the
appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for
a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the
Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.
- Yuppie Food Stamps
- The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs
everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal:
"We all owe $8 each, but all anybody's got is yuppie food stamps."
Updated at 15:47 EST on Tue Apr 11, 2006